At a time of year when it seems that
everyone should be feeling "full," nothing could be farther from
the truth. Maybe - according to everyone else - you've got it
all! Maybe you think you have it all. Family, friends, career,
"things," etc. And yet maybe you still feel like something's
The sad truth is that there are a lot of people out here in the world today that don't feel full - whole - complete. And not just during the holiday season, but on a regular basis. Sure, everyone has "good" days and "bad" days, but some of us routinely feel like we're missing something.
The big challenge is that it doesn't just affect our personal lives behind closed doors. It usually spills over into other things - our jobs, hobbies, relationships... it affects all of our habits from eating to exercise to sleep and on and on. Sometimes, some folks do a great job of hiding it. They're the ones that leave us shocked and dismayed upon hearing of their suicide. Please hear me:
You are not alone
I know. You've tried it all. Anything
and everything to fill that hole inside. Whatever you think
might satisfy that longing inside you. That desperate need for
whatever it is that's missing. Sex, drugs, alcohol, smoking,
food, immersion in your career, hobbies, TV or movies... maybe
even doing community service, volunteering to help the needy,
attending church, or giving away money. No matter how
self-destructive or self-less or anything in-between, nothing
you've tried has truly "completed" or satisfied you for very
Here's another bit of information you probably already know:
And that's why so many people stuck in a rut of longing, sadness, depression, or searching just give up. Nothing and no one has been able to fulfill them. They've heard all the same garbage their whole life... "one day you'll find someone to complete you." A spouse or a friend who will totally "get you" and make everything better. What happens if you don't find them - or worst yet - they let you down? "One day you'll find something you love to do," but what happens when you finally land that "dream job" and then you get laid off or something happens that prevents you from being able to do it any more?
Everything in this world - especially people - will disappoint you and let you down
So it's really pretty much impossible to base our self-worth and our "reason for being" on other people and things, isn't it? Why not base it on ourselves? Why shouldn't I base my worth on me and what I can do? Well... I don't know about you, but I know for a fact that I've let myself down as much as or even more than others. So that's a no-go. That's the problem with self-reliance - we can't do it all by ourselves. We need other people. We're social creature that have to have interaction with others.
So why is this the case? Why are we "wired" this way? What's the solution? Is there even a "fix" for it? Let's tackle those questions next...